I knew it was going to happen, I just didn't think it would be this soon! 

My blood counts took a nose dive between Wednesday and Friday.  I ended up needing two units of blood and an increase in the dosage of Neupogen.  That together with being told to stay out of the public and, if I had to go out, I HAD to wear my mask.  I cheated yesterday and went (with my mask on) to Hy-Vee and got my usual Sesame Chicken.  I'm still not tired of it and it is clearly adding the pounds.

Today I had to break down and ask for help.  Even with the two units of blood, I feel really weak and probably shouldn't have driven for my Neupogen injection this morning.  I took I-380 there but as wobbly as I felt walking in and out of PCI, I decided the back roads was the route to choose to go home.

Tomorrow I have arranged (and it was really hard to ask but I know it isn't safe otherwise) to have a personal driver.  My dear friend (and cancer survivor) Paulette will take me to PCI for a lab draw, to St. Luke's to have my Living Will notarized and provided to the Hospital and another document witnessed and notarized.  Then we have to go get my wig tried on again and texturized.  We all pretty much agree that there's way too much hair (fake) on the top right side.  Hopefully the wig will stay put better.  He was going to sew some small "snap combs" into it and hope that they won't slide right off of my baby fine, slick hair.  If I had my head shaved, it would probably be just fine but I'm just not ready for that yet. After that, hopefully we'll have time for lunch and then I have to go back to St. Luke's for cardio-pulmonary testing which is required prior to transplant.

Oh ya, back to needing help today.  I just don't feel safe being in the house alone and taking a shower.  I've already fallen once in the shower - pre-MDS diagnosis by a couple of years - and I'm pretty sure it would be a very bad thing to do it now.  I also need groceries and gas in the car.

Megan convinced me to have a bag packed with whatever I might need if Dr. B banishes me to the hospital again.  My platelets dropped from 92 on Wednesday to 23 on Friday.  If they continue to drop at that pace, I'm guessing she won't let me be home alone.  You probably guessed that my neutrophils (the infection-fighting white blood cells) also decided to jump off the diving board.

Having said that, I can't complain.  Instead I praise God that I don't have pain.  When I'm on chemo, there are a number of other patients who are clearly not well and in pain.  What gift I've been given in that regard.  That being said, please include me in your prayers especially over the next four to six weeks as the chemo does its job so that I can lead somewhat of a normal life and that my marrow begins making more normal cells as it did last time.  I don't think the percentage of blasts can get much better than 1% so hopefully I will recover faster this time.

Also, please pray that a donor match be found.  We should know in a week to ten days whether or not Don and/or Paul are a match.  Again, they are already searching the Donor Network to find a match.  If I could get started toward a stem cell transplant before my next round of chemo, I would be so grateful!  But, I am In His Arms and He is in control.  I continue to take one day at a time resting in the Lord.

Oh crud, my ankles are starting to swell again.  As usual, I've been sitting at the computer too long.  Needed to reconcile my checking account and the stupid bill I got from my cell phone company.  Don't know why they have to make it so darned confusing.

May God bless you as you journey through this week. 

Don't really want to end up here!